when i get too bored.. i think too much. and then i start getting worried. sometimes i wonder what made me say okay, now that i think back i can't find something concrete. i think i said something about trusting my heart for once, but now my head has caught up and it's being nothing but a pain. seriously, i can't stop worrying about the next 4 years and where it'll take me. the thing i hate about myself is that once i know i can't change anything i start thinking about possibilities. of failing. nothing positive and i hate it.

i can't possibly be regretting anything when it hasn't even started, but i'm really just afraid. really really afraid.

"pictures open in my head"